Midnight Broadcast: Prologue
This is just a rough draft, so please excuse me if it seems bare and/or short.  Just wanted to at least get something done.


            “Ithink I’m gonna be sick,” A young detective said.

            He ran out of the alley way to the trash can at the corner of the sidewalk, almost knocking down another detective in the process. The young man bent over the trash can, relieving himself of his…ailments.

            The older detective, Sanada as it read on his badge, looked over to the young man kneeled over with a look of annoyance.

            “Matsuda!  What the hell’s going on?  You’re a detective aren’t you?  Suck it up and get over here!” He yelled, shaking his head.

            “Sorry Hideo er- Senpai.” Matsuda replied,correcting himself in the process.  “I thought I was prepared for these kinds of cases…especially after the previous two.  But this one is just…brutal.”

            Matsuda slowly returned to Hideo’s side, gripping his stomach in discomfort.  The two of them scan over the crime scene as two other investigators snap photos of the body for evidence.

A woman dressed in an expensive coat slumped lifelessly on the side of the wall in the alley, her face twisted in agony.  Two giant gashes from her hips to her shoulders tore through the fabric, blood soaking into her clothes. 

The wall her body leaned on is covered in a gruesome splatter of blood. The way the blood spread behind the corpse reminded Hideo of twisted, macabre-like wings emerging her back.  He couldn’t help but feel, after years of having to deal with suicides, homicides andanything else you can imagine, that this was somehow different.  As brutal as it was, there was something artistic about it.  So dark, so imposing, so…

            “Oh god, I think I’m gonna be sick again…” Matsuda cried out, turning around quickly.

            He grabbed his mouth quickly, making his move to escape, but is quickly seized bythe strong grip of his senpai – his senior.

            “Look, I know this ain’t easy for ya, Matsuda. But you’re a detective now.  Not only that, but this is your third case already. It’s bad enough you’re a rookie.  Ain’t anybody gonna respect ya if ya can’t even look at a crime scene,” Hideo tells him.

            His voice was stern, but it was apparent that he was only looking out for his junior.  Hideo ruffled his already matted hair with a deep sigh and motioned for Matsuda to follow him closer to the body.  Matsuda smiled slightly to himself as he walked behind him.

            The two kneeled down in front of the body. The wounds from the attack were still fresh, leaving a ripe smell in the air.  Matsuda covered his nose and squinted, the smell obviously getting the best of him.  Hideo didn’t flinch though.  He had been in this situation hundreds of times, to the point that he didn’t even notice the stench of the dead any more.

            “Ugh…this smell…”  Matsuda started, but was quickly cut off.

            “This smell means the attack happened recently. Maruo, tell me what you’ve got so far.”

            Hideo called out to the detective who was lying against a wall.  He saunters over casually, standing over Hideo.  This was obviously not his first murder scene, either.  He handed Hideo a blue folder.

            “Status report,” Hideo ordered.

            Maruo rolled his eyes.  It was obvious he wasn’t pleased with having to defer to Hideo.

            “Name’s Megumi Aomori.  A reporter for TV Japan.  She’s been all over her own station as of late, what with the recent scandal and all with that sleezypolitican Kagoshima.  She was found DOA on the scene.  No perp, no weapon.”  He replied, lazily, as Hideo flipped through the pages in the folder.

            “Easy on the lingo, Maruo.  This kid’s still new,”  Hideo directed.

            Maruo rolled his eyes again.

            “Look, it’s real simple, kid,” Maruo said, directly at Matsuda.  “This chick’s a reporter who was foolin’around with some big wig in the Diet. You must’ve heard of it, unless your head’s so far up your ass that you’ve been performin’ your own colonoscopy.”

            “No, you’re right, I’ve heard about it,” He replied with a glare.

            “Well,as you can see, someone didn’t like the idea of that.  She was found here DOA – that means ‘Dead onArrival’ – right there as she lies.  It’s a damn mystery.”

            “Anytraces of DNA?  Fingerprints?  An eyewitness?”  Hideo asked, staring intently at the photo ofthe victim.

            “If we did, we wouldn’t be standing here right now,” Maruo spat. 

            Hideocontinued to stay fixated on the picture of Aomori. Something about her was…familiar. A faint remembrance drifted in his mind, but he was unable to reach it, like trying to grab a piece of driftwood at sea, but floating away from his grasp.  He tried in vain, finally giving up on trying to recollect.

            “Well ,start talking to her associates.  TV Japan, Kagoshima and anyone else who knows her.  I’ve gottahead back.  Got my sister’s kid coming from the countryside to live with me for the school year.”  Hideo said, lifting himself up from his squatting position.

            “You know how crazy that’s gonna be, to try and get these people to talk?  There’s no way in hell that they’re gonna talk!”  Maruo groaned.

            “I trust you.  Get a little rough if youh ave to.  Matsuda, go with him.”  Hideo said, patting Matsuda on the back. 

With a nod to Maruo, he spun around and started leaving the scene of the crime.

            “Guess it’s just you and me, kid.  We’re gonnahave a lot of fun,”  Maruo said with a devious smile.

            “I can’t wait…” Matsuda replied dreadfully.

Copyright © 2011 Blaine Morren. All Rights Reserved.

AzureFaith   AzureFaith wrote
on 5/19/2011 11:00:05 AM
I totally misunderstood the term DOA apparently, hahaha. Whoops. As for the words running together, that was the site's fault, but I'll try to edit it when I make a revision. Sorry for it being distracting! But I'm glad there were parts you enjoyed. Thank you SO much for giving it a shot and giving me some noteworthy advice and critique. I truly appreciate it! :D

ChelsieShakespeare   ChelsieShakespeare wrote
on 5/18/2011 9:46:39 PM
Okay- figured out how to find your profile :-) I'm new to this also. I think you have a good start and it's obvious that you enjoy writing, so KEEP GOING. Don't stop till it's over. And don't flit from story to story. If you think you have enough material (plot, characters, beginning, middle, end) for a full length novel, stick with this one and see it through until it's DONE. I have a lot of writer friends who have 20 or more stories going, and they will never finish any of them. A couple things: The grammar obviously needs work. Some of the words run together, which is distracting. I would polish this even at this stage. Before you post ANYTHING for the world to see, make sure it's as good as you can possibly make it. LOVE THIS PART: "The way the blood spread behind the corpse reminded Hideos of twisted, macabre-like wings emerging her back." This is incorrect: "She was found here DOA – that means ‘Dead onArrival’ – right there as she lies. It’s a damn mystery.” Dead on arrival means that a body shows up to the hospital already dead. If she's still at the crime scene she's just... dead. Or you could say she was killed instantly (but make sure you do your research on forensic science to explain how they came up with that conclusion.) Well, hope that helped!! Yay for you for giving it a shot and putting yourself out there. Believe me, that is more than half the battle. The rest you will learn along the way. -Chelsie Shakespeare ___________________________________________________________________________ "Here we are inside a novel, waiting for an end. But we don't know the authors of the book. Maybe someone's writing chapters for us while we sleep, from a million miles away..." -Guster www.chelsieshakespeare.com

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writing AzureFaith
http://twitter.com/#!/BlaineMM <- Check it out for more updates on the Midnight Broadcast development, as well as pointless rants and my rabid obsession for OKC Thunder basketball.
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This is just a rough draft of the prologue of my novel-in-progress, The Midnight Broadcast. The very first draft, so please excuse it for being so rough, even if it seems like it was written in sandpaper.
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Any critique would be helpful, so long as it's constructive. If you don't like it, that's fine, but don't try bashing it. I won't even pay attention to you. But if you have some honest feedback, that would be truly appreciated.
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