Hating Me (2011)

Sometimes I really hate myself...

I hate that I have no will of my own, 

I hate that I can never say just what I mean, 

What I want to...

I hate the silence, 

And I hate the pain...

I hate how awkward I can be, 

And how stupid I can be...

I wake up,

Chased and haunted,

Everyday,

By my demons,

The decisions that I've made...

Try to fight them off, 

Keep them at bay...

Telling myself everyday that this doesn't hurt...

Lying to myself just a little bit more everyday...

And everyday I try really hard, 

Try to be positive, 

And try to be happy...

But right now, 

At this moment...

I just can't help hating myself,

Just a little today.


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CaeridLock
Poetry
Other
writing CaeridLock
Emo, angsty gothic love stories, mostly some kind of poetry. A passion I didn't know I had until I was about 22 or 23. Something that I have been doing mostly consistently ever since. I'm 30 now.

I suppose it should be mentioned that when I started writing, I went under the pen name of Belasrose. Because life is ever changing, my pen/online name is Caerid Lock, I still identify with my other pen name though.
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