Dangerous Questions

By Elton Camp

Some questions have no way to win

Be cautious if you answer such again

When the wife asks, “Do I look fat?”

Either “Yes” or “No” will bring combat

But if you say, “You look just right,”

It’s possible you can avoid a fight

A direct answer is usually not wise

The circumstances you must apprise

“What is it that you’re thinking about?”

If, “Nothing,”  it’s a dark secret no doubt

“Are you really going to wear that shirt?”

“I put it on, didn’t I?” is a lot too curt

“How do you like my new hairdo?”

Lavishly praise or you surely will rue

Don’t even consider saying, “It’s fine”

That you really dislike, it’ll be the sign

If she asks, “Do you want me to drive?”

Don’t say, “No, I’d rather get there alive.”

“Which of these paints do you like best?”

The one she prefers, you hope you guessed

To the suspicious, “What did I just say?”

You’re caught.  To win, there’s no way