Deal With An Angel Part 1

   There is  usually a time when you realize that there is nothing you can do to stop what is happening. When that happens you know what you have to do. For me that breaking point was being backed up against the wall with no where to go my heartbeat slipping away. I knew I had to make a deal and I knew how to do it. This was my time when I knew what had to happen but could the consequences amount to the effect.

  Maybe I shouldn't star where this story ends. I was born in a small town in Kentucky with less than 10,000 people in it and everyone knew each other. There wasn't a door that you could try that wouldn't just open with happy faces on the other side. My mother had known my father since they were born and their parents before them. I hated my short lived life there. There was always something going wrong between my mother and father. Even when they weren't talking to each other there was some way that they could come to me and put on the fake smiles they could and tell me they loved me.

   My father loved music and always told me that one day I would be a great soloist. He was always happy if I had my violin in my hands playing Mozart. Though I was for the most part happy and could tell that in their own way may parents loved yachter that all ended when my father's plane crashed one day. The day of his funeral I turned seven and I had just finished learning both parts to the tabletop duet. I played it for him while they lowered his casket into the grave. I knew he was smiling at me from where ever he was. My mother never shed a tear, she never hugged me, never told me that he was in a better place. No one did that day or any day after that. That day marked the last bit of my childhood that I could say that someone loved me and I could feel it.

   Almost the moment we left the graveyard my mother started packing for Dallas. She said that it was because that she couldn't find a better job anywhere close to where we lived, but I knew that it was because she wanted to get away from all of the familiar faces and stares for not being a grieving widow. I hated my life in Dallas more than I did the fake smiled and helpfulness. I was an outcast there for being so dark and looking like "those indians that my great-grandfather fought to get off his land." I went through elementary and middle school alone and secluded from my mother and anyone else. Every night I would play my violin and image my father's smiling face.

  High School was where it all turned for the best. The first day of my freshman year I was walking home through Downtown and saw a sign for the Dallas Symphony. They were looking for a violinist. I went to the auditions that night and was laughed at when they first saw me. "Little girl we are looking for an experienced violinist. How long have you been playing? About three years." a small round faced man said. I smiled at him and quietly said, "I have been playing since I was two-years old. I can play anything you want me to." They all laughed except for a darker figure that was at the end of the table. He had short hair that was spiked and his face was only light up by him lighting a cigarette. "Let her play. Give her the newest piece, first violin." He said seriously then sat back in his chair.

  "We cannot give her that she it too young the oldest players we have are having problems." a older lady said. She turned to me and smiled showing her laugh lines and her grey hair. "She says she can then lets let her." he said finally and with a sigh the round man reached into the folder and handed me the piece. I looked it over quickly then played through the whole thing thinking of nothing but  my father and at one point I closed my eyes imagining the notes flaying around me. When I finished, I opened my eyes and saw the three judges that had originally said I couldn't do anything were silent then started clapping.

  I bowed and saw that the last judge at the end of the table was still with his cigarette as if I had done nothing. i walked out quickly feeling his eyes burning into me. I sat down on the street and put my face in my hands. I tried to forget that burning gaze. His eyes were a light color that didn't seem to match the rest of his face but still they were more beautiful than anything I had ever seen. I looked at my watch and saw that it was already seven o'clock. "Crap." I said then ran to the nearest bus stop and tried to get home before my mom did.  

   I got to the house just as she drove up and quickly climbed up the side of the apartment and reached the broken window to my room. Just as I threw everything on my bed and jumped into the shower, I heard the door open. "Dear, I'm home. I hope you didn't wait up for me." She called from the living room. I knew she really didn't care if I did wait up for her and she was only making sure I didn't run away. "I am just in the shower, Mother. I will be out shortly so that I can make you your dinner." I called. I heard her groan then say, "Why wasn't it made sooner?" I got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around myself before I walked into the kitchen. "I had a lot of homework and wasn't able to make it before I got into the shower." I said quietly as I made her some soup.

   As I poured her soup she waved me away. I felt like her servant as I bowed and walked back into my room. I changed into my pajamas and began the homework that had been mostly finished at school. After the wind took a turn to my room, I got up to close the window. As I looked out I saw a dark figure with a top hat and a long coat. His face was lit up by a lighter and a hard gaze stared up at me. I was entranced by the gaze trying to place where I had seen it before. "Tiger Lily! Get out here this moment!" Mother yelled in her irritated voice. Her piercing scream broke me out of the trace. "I'm coming." I yelled back. When I turned to the window there was no one there. I ran to Mother before she could come for me. "What is it ma'am?" I asked braiding my hair as I walked to her.

   Mother was standing at the door with her head in her hands. "Did you come straight home tonight?" she asked. "Yes I came home and started my homework." "Did you now? Then why is there a lady from the Symphony asking for you." She said opening the door. The lady judge was at the door this time in jeans and a long sleeved blue t-shirt. She had her pixie cut black hair down and smiled at me. "I'm sorry for coming so late but I wanted to come personally to the house of the prodigy and tell you myself." she said in a mousy voice though it still showed she bubbled with confidence.

   I tried to keep my face smiling and took a deep breath before I spoke. "I'm sorry I don't know what you are talking about." I tried to lie. "Don't lie straight in my face. I knew I should never have let your father try and teach you that stupid instrument." Mother said with rage in her red face and in her voice. She left the room quickly and slammed every door after that in her usual dramatic way. The judge came in carefully as if she had expected mother to come in with a knife. "I'm sorry for causing you any trouble. I can come back tomorrow." she said with a soft smile. "No, stay she's mad so she won't come out until you leave or if we are lucky, tomorrow." I said sitting on the sofa.

   I motioned for her to sit too and she did taking out a large envelope from her bag. "I wanted to come and give this to you because for one thing I am impressed by you and secondly the man who was supposed to do it wouldn't. My name is Jane Austin like the writer. My mother was a big fan. Now that thats over, you made it into the symphony." she said then stayed quiet waiting for a reaction. I was shocked  that I made it but I was never taught how to show my emotions. I smiled and got up thanking her. "No, thats not all. There is one other thing, because you are so young we wanted to know how to pay you and if the pay would be enough." she said scribbling on a post it quickly then passing it to me. It had 75,000 written on it in messy handwriting.  

   I looked from the paper to her then again and smiled. "This is more than enough though I was wondering if you make it a direct deposit." I said then wrote down my account. I had the one my mother and father had made for me when I was a baby but that had been tapped dry when we got to Dallas. Jane nodded and walked out. At the door she hugged me. "I am glad that you agreed to this. If you ever need a ride home or anything just tell me. See you at the first season rehearsal." she said and walked out.

   I stared at the envelope when I got into my room and carefully opened it. This was the first good thing that has happened since we got to Dallas. As I emptied and looked at the pieces and the schedule. The rehearsals were at the theater and lasted until mother could have gotten home. I threw myself on the bed and thought for a while. "I took a job in the Symphony, today and thought about you when I auditioned. I wish you were here to help me but mother doesn't want me to do anything but serve her." I said to the sky. I fell asleep remembering when my father would sit me on the piano and tell me stories about the angels that watched over us.

   I woke up early the next morning, made my mother her breakfast and went to school. In school I would stay quiet and work and make sure that I could go to a good collage. I tried not to draw any attention to myself. Though something today made it so that every eye was on me. I had seen the faces that were in the hallway since I was in elementary but they all looked at me as if they had seen me for the first time. Once I got to my locker there was a hand on my shoulder. I turned to find a tall smiling face. He had a strong cheek bone line and blue eyes that was brought out with the brown-red color of his skin and deep eye sockets. "Tiger Lily Johnson. You are more beautiful than when I first met you." he said.

  I stared at him confused. "How long were you following me?" I asked beginning to be angry. "Since you got onto the bus by your apartment."

"So you were stalking me?"

"No, I just started following you about an hour ago so you can't say I was stalking you."

"But you were following me without my knowledge, so that is technically stalking. So you were in fact stalking me."

"I wasn't, I noticed that an old friend was going to the same school that I was going to and followed you." he said smiling. I laughed in defeat and we walked together to homeroom. "So how do I know you and what do you mean by 'since the last time I saw you'?" I asked. He stopped walking and stood in front of me. "I'm the angel that your father was always talking about. I first came when the children of the first in your father's side of the family was in trouble on the Trail of Tears and called for someone. I come when you're life is in danger." he said seriously his eyes never being taken away from mine. I started to laugh nervously. "There is not such thing as fallen angels, and my life isn't in any danger." I said then walked away from him.

  I started to walk away being to be worried. "You're afraid that your mother might finally realize that she doesn't have anymore means of getting money and might try to get rid of you." He yelled at me then when I stopped he caught up to me and smiled. "I told you I know you. I've been watching you. My name is Rex." he said. I slapped him and heard a few people that were watching gasp. "I think its best you stay away from me." i said then walked quickly to homeroom. The fight had been the thing to set off a wave of attention from the old bullies and new friends. I was followed and talked to by people that I didn't want to talk to. I saw Rex the rest of the day every now and then watching me but from a far distance and I felt that the only reason that he didn't come to me was because of the crowed.

   The girls were impressed enough to stay close to me even in lunch and started to talk to me. "Tiger Lily thats a strange name. Where is it from?" one curly haired bubbly cheerleader asked. "My father loved Peter Pan as a story when he was a child and one of his favorite characters was Tiger Lily so when I was born that was the first name that he thought of." I explained feeling a knot in my throat form as I talked about my father to someone since he died. She smiled at my story. "I'm Danny. Nice to meet you." she said holding out her hand. I took it. "I know who you are we've been in the same class since 3rd grade." I said smirking. She began to blush. "I can't believe I've never told you hello before." she said. "Well when we were in middle school you called me cherry because I was a red-skin as you and your boyfriend said it." I said putting air quotes around "red-skinned." She smiled again but stayed quiet.

  I walked home a new way afraid of Rex coming up in my usual ones. I walked into the theater once I heard someone walking behind me. There was bunches of people walking around dressed casually talking to one another. I dropped my bag in the back of a isle of chairs and ducked into a back door. Someone grabbed my arm and I turned to slap the person. Just as my hand was about to make contact with their face, they grabbed my hand. The man standing in front of me looked like the judge from the end of the table. "What you doing here Prodigy?" he asked his voice smooth but hard. I stared blankly at his perfect face my mouth slightly open. He smirked and threw my hand back at me and stood there still waiting for a reaction. "I thought someone was following me." I said quietly when he finally looked away from me. He laughed.

  "There was someone following you. He came in a few moments after you so when I saw you walking in here I decided to make sure you were OK." he said taking out his cigarettes. I rubbed my hand where he grabbed me and held on tightly. "I thought you couldn't smoke in here." I said irritated. He drew a long breath then let it out in my face, causing me to inhale whatever chemicals were in that. "It's not tobacco." I said smelling the strangely sweet air. "No, it is not. So it looks like you're not just good with your hands, you actually have a brain." he said taking another breath. "So it can't kill you?" I asked interested in the sweet smell of the smoke. "I have no idea. I started smoking these when my Dad invented it. I got hooked just breathing in the air around the house, he said that it was more addictive than regular tobacco." He said and looked out the door.

  He opened it and motioned for me to get out. "He's not there anymore Prodigy. You can go home." He said then walked out. I got my bag then ran after him. "Wait. Are you our conductor?" I asked slightly out of breath. He laughed. "No, I'm concert master and I am your Watcher." He yelled back at me waving me away. I stopped at the door and stared at the tight blue button shirt and black pants he was wearing. I got caught up in the thought of how long we could have been hiding in that room. When I looked at my watch I found out, it was five o'clock. I wasn't going to make it home before mother if i walked this way.

  I ran out of the theater and ran down the street looking for a bus stop or a taxi that I could take. As time turned to 5:30 I was starting to loose hope. I sat down on the side of the street and started to cry. I didn't know what would happen when mother found out that I wasn't home but I knew it wasn't going to be good. I started to cry. It was the first time I had cried out of fear and crying made me feel like I was hopeless and was about to die. The last piece luck that I got was when it started to rain. I didn't want to try and find a place to hide from the rain, i saw no point in it. A horn honked and it snapped me out of my complete misery. "Prodigy, get in before I change my mind." the judge said and opened the door to the car. 

  I stood up and stared at him. "I'm changing my mind." he said impaciently. I got into the car quickly and closed the door. "Hello." I said. "Hi." he said then started to laugh. We drove in silence for a few minuets but it was strange to me that he just knew where to go. "How do you know where I live?" I asked trying to stay calm. "I memorized every member of the symphony's number and address." he said in a breath. "Well you seem to know everything about me and I know nothing about you." I said. He smiled at me and shrugged. "My name is Wann, I am your Watcher and drive a black 1959 Cadillac. I am concert master. That is all you ever need to know." he said with a chuckle. "I think i need to know a little more but not till later." I said a matter a factually. Wann chuckled again and reached for his pack of cigarettes.

  He pulled over to my apartment and began to stare at me. "Get off, Prodigy." he said sternly. I starred at the building, the light to my house was on. "Will you come up with me. You can lie and tell her that you are a teacher and I had detention so I couldn't leave until you did. She'd believe anything as long as you blame me. Please." I said quickly grabbing his hand. He starred at our hands touching, as if he was retreating into himself. "Wann?" I asked moving my hand in front of his face. He coughed and pulled away from my hand. He sat quietly and thought for a moment. "Please, I'll do anything. I just want to live tonight. I have never been late and have always made her dinner. Please." I said feeling my eyes filling with tears.

  Wann laughed and opened his car door. "You must be PMSing or something because I have never seen a girl so quick to cry." He said opening my door. He put his arm around my shoulder, his hand still holding his lit cigarette. The warmth of him against the side of my body made me realize that I was shivering from the cold. He hummed as he walked to the door. "What are you singing?" I asked impressed by the range of his voice. "Prodigy, I am disappointed in you. You don't know the first moment of our first piece." He said with a smile. I laughed nervously and thought of something to say.

  We rode in the elevator with him humming to me. To the point where I could hum along. He started to seem gentle but once we reached the door he grabbed the collar of my shirt and knocked on the door. He looked down at me and winked. "Who is it?" Mother asked opening the door. She looked at Wann with a smile forming on her lips then looked at me and her face dropped. "What did she do to you?" she asked angered. "She was disrupting class so I decided to keep her until I left." He said throwing me into the room. "I am sorry. Do you need to keep her again?" Mother asked pushing her hair behind her ear though it was already up. Wann looked at me and smiled. "Yes, she will be staying after school until I leave for the next three months. Maybe that will teach her not to back mouth me." he said then bowed and walked out.

  I ran to the kitchen while they were talking and began to make dinner for her. "Don't bother someone from my office took me to dinner. There is some bread in the pantry make yourself something and since you're late try to wake up early enough to take a shower without your alarm clock." she said then walked to her room and slammed the door. I didn't eat anything, I wasn't hungry and I was too busy thinking about what Wann had planed by telling her that I was going to stay after school for three months. My phone dinged and the answer to my question was reviled. It was a text from an unknown number. and read: You looked like you needed saving. Come over to the theater tomorrow after school you can do homework but as soon as I tell you to you will help me. I think that is a fair trade for my having to see your Mother for the next three months as well as your "freedom." -Darkness 

  I knew it was from Wann from the sarcastic tone and the signature. I had no choice but to oboe his orders and go to the theater for the next three months. It was only a small plus that I wouldn't have to cook for a while. I did my homework and quietly practiced my violin until saw the first bit of the sun coming up in the horizon. I took a shower and followed my routine as if on autopilot. I even left before Mother was gone. Which caused me to get to the bus stop an hour early and looked over my half-hearted attempt on homework. I was lost in my new writing when I felt a presence on the far end of the bench. I looked up to see Rex. 

  He waved at me and rose to move closer. I put my hand up in protest. "Don't I will just leave." I said getting up. He was at my side before I even finished getting up. "Don't leave Lily I just want to talk to you. Please I have a letter from your father." He said handing me an envelope. It was brown and was bent in different ways. It was dated as 12/31/1988. "My father would have been 14 by that time. Where did you get it?" I asked putting it in my pocket. Rex smiled. "He gave it to me. I know you don't believe me but look for some pictures of your mother and father up to when they were getting married. I am in almost all of the picturers." He said then walked away. I watched him walking and I started to think he was telling the truth.

   The bus was late and I started to walk towards the school, I had three hours until it started and I lived only about a half-hour's walk from it. I collected my things and started to walk. I thought that someone was following me. I looked back to see a 1959 black Cadillac. I stopped and starred at it. The car stopped when I did and stayed there. I waved at the car and the car's lights flashed on and off. I laughed and walked to the car not feeling scared that a car was following me but interested. I knocked on the black tinted window and saw Wann wink at me. "Good morning." He said. "Why were you following me?" I asked trying to hold back a smile. "I wasn't following you at first I only did when I saw that you started walking. I was just going to pass you." He said shrugging. "You're strange. Can I have a ride then?" i asked not being able to hold back the smile. "i guess so. You will just have to change the lights on the balcony in the theater." he said unlocking the door.

  We drove in complete silence and I was forced to break it by turning on the radio. Heavy metal was playing at full blast and the screaming hurt my ears. I turned it off quickly and covered my ears. Wann started to laugh. "Have you never listened to heavy metal?" he asked laughing. "I don't listen to music much at all." I said yelling a bit until my hearing came back. "Music is the key to life Mademoiselle. I should know I can't live without it. I will introduce you into the world of music. Prodigy what do you think about that?" he said. "I don't know. If all your music is like that." I said with a laugh. "No, that will be last." he said turning off the car. I looked out the window and saw that we were in front of the school. "That was fast. Thank you." I said getting out. He grabbed my arm. "Prodigy, I'll pick you up after school. Have fun avoiding that guy." He said then let go of me.        

   Not even two steps into the school was I attacked by my "friends." Danny was the first one I saw. "Good morning Tiger. Since we have all our classes together, we should walk to class together." She said grabbing my hand. I forced a smile and walked with her, realizing that part of my being alone all the time was by choice. Danny never stopped talking the entire time we walked to our homeroom, even there she kept talking. I had never smiled so much in a very long time and the fake happiness was making my head hurt. At around third period she left with her other friends and I walked away, happy that I wasn't to be bothered anymore today. "IT looked like you were never going to get away from those girls." I heard Rex say from behind.

   I turned to him, rolled my eyes, and turned back towards the way I was going. He grabbed my arm and turned me to him. "Don't turn away from me. I am really getting annoyed trying to protect you all the time and you always go with the worst people." He said with a strange smile curling over his lips. I tried to pull away but he held on tighter. "Let go of me, if you want to talk you don't have to make a scene. I don't feel like avoiding you today." I said my voice tight. He pushed me ahead of him and I let him follow me into the courtyard. "Where are we going?"  he asked as we were going into the field. "We are going to talk." I said starting to jog. He followed. I began to run and he still followed me. "Where are you going?" He yelled running out of breath.

   I kept running for a while and when I heard him panting behind me, I couldn't help but start to laugh. "Why are you so slow? I thought angels could fly." I called back to him. I heard a deep laugh and then his hurried footsteps. I started to run faster but it seemed that he had caught up with me and reached for my arm. I pulled away but he had gotten a hold of my arm and I tripped. We fell on the filed with a laughing fit. I laughed so much my stomach hurt, I turned to my  side trying to stop the pain. Rex reached his arm around me and smiled. "I caught you." He said giggling. I nodded, "Up, you caught me as you fell."

   We laid there staring at the cloud for the rest of the school day in silence, every time one of us looked towards the other we started to laugh. The last bell rang and snapped me back into reality. I quickly shot up and started to walk towards the school without a word. "Nice talking with you." Rex yelled still laying down. I waved back at him and kept walking. I met with Wann at the front of the school, were he had dropped me off the first time. When I sat down, he reached over and pulled a piece of grass out of my hair. "What were you doing?" He asked with a mischievous smiled. "I fell when I was running." I said returning a smile. He grunted and started to drive away.

   He walked into the theater without waiting for me or looking back. I left my backpack and other things and ran to catch up with him. "What are we going to do today?" I asked finally catching up. Wann smiled at me as he opened to door to the supply closet. "I am going to sit in the front row and read as YOU clean the floors. That means vacuum, sweep, scrub, and dust everything." He said handing me the cleaning items. After he handed everything to me, Wann walked away without another word.

  I did everything he had told me to and Wann did exactly what he said he would, he watched. I stopped once and stared at him reading peacfully and as soon as he noticed me looking he snapped his fingers and I did his bidding like a puppy. I worked harder than I ever had with my mother because of some deep need to please this man. The need burned in me with every second look he gave me, and seemed to love the attention I got when I did something right. When I finished Wann looked around the theater with a white glove gliding his finger on every flat surface. He smiled when he saw that the glove was now a light brown. "You are going to have to learn how to dust tomorrow." He said sweetly.

  After inspecting the dusting, he got on all fours and looked at the carpet. After I giggled a bit, he quickly shot up and nodded that I had done a good job. Next was the tile floors in the lobby. "I can see my reflection. Nice, to bad the movers are going to come tomorrow morning and you're going to have to do it all again. The dusting better though." He said sneering at me. I starred at him with a shocked face. "Again!!! That just took me four hours to do and you want me to do it all again tomorrow?!?!" I yelled. He chuckled and nodded. "Better tomorrow. You can leave now or do you need a ride?" He said turning his head slightly towards me. I looked at my watch, it was 11 and the buses would have stopped coming. "I need a ride." I said with a questioning tone. He shrugged, "Then you are going to have to wait another half hour as I fix the lights in the balcony."

   I guess I fell asleep as I waited for him because when I opened my eyes he was placing me into my bed. He was watching me with worried and sorrowful eyes. I smiled and held onto his shirt so that he wouldn't leave. "I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow, becareful when you wonder around the city there is a lot of bad out there." He whispered prying my hands off him. I heard him walk out of the room and close the door behind him. I fell asleep thinking about the events of the day. It had been a good day.

  The next day was a Saturday and I woke up early, did my homework, made breakfast, and left the house all before 4 o'clock. I walked to the freeway and started to walk the deserted street. I followed it into Downtown then started for a nearby park. There was no one there but the hobo that slept on his usual bench. The air was still cool and as I walked I could feel my cheeks heating from the slaps of the wind. I sat on the cool grass looking closely at the blades of grass with the drips od due on them. I tapped me finger on one and watched as it rolled down the blade of grass with such glee in my heart.

   I closed my eyes and listened to the now waking up city. I could hear the birds, the insects, the cars, and the people rustling in the apartments. I was starting to fall asleep again when I heard footsteps in the grass. I looked up and saw a gang of about 5 people 3 boys and 2 girls. They were all tall and had serious faces along with blood thirsty smiles. "What do you want?" I asked sleepily. The tallest of the boys stepped a bit closer to me and reached out his hand. He had dark brown hair and piercing blue eyes with what seemed like black marking covering him from his arm to his neck. "It looks like your Watcher isn't around now do you mind coming with us." He said with such a sweet and calm voice I started to reach out to him.

   My senses came back to me and I snatched my hand back and starred at his now disappointed face. "What do you mean my 'Wacther'? Wann told me thats what he was." I asked. The other boys started to laugh. "Oh yes he goes by Wann now. He is such a good little sheep." one said turning his face to show the same markings but on the opposite side. The first boy looked back at them and they went quiet. "I think we need to explain to her what she is to us." he said smiling. "I would appreciate it." I said sitting up crossed legged. He did the same and moved closer to me.

   "I assume Rex, I think he's called, came and told you he was your family's angel. That means that he was assigned to your family to make sure you are all safe and people like us don't get to you." he said calmly. "I don't understand, are you all angels?" I asked.

   He nodded and continued on with his story, "We are all angels as well as some demons, but what's a demon but an angel that fell from grace. Some of us are called to be Protectors, which means we are given to a family and if they ever need help we go to them. Then others are Watchers, now Watchers are the body guards of our world. They go only to the most important souls that Heaven needs." I watched as he used his hands to show what he was talking about then suddenly the images he was explaining were coming onto the energy bubble he had formed. "The Watchers follow and are told not to interact with their charges unless it was absolutely needed. Protectors don't have any rules only that if the family line dies before a new heir come then the angel dies too." As he spoke a blue figure was moving around one of an angel and the other of its charge.

   The human died in a red smoke and the angel fell and started to die in a screaming death. "Watchers protect their charges with their lives and make sure that a demon doesn't touch them. If a demon touches them then their soul is theirs and there is no point to protect them anymore. Next is the demons, we take souls and try our best to take those of the charges because their souls are the most delicious of all human souls." He said with a smile. His teeth smiled with saliva and a small drop of droll rolled down his chin. "I think I understand, now which are you?" I asked backing away slowly. "Demons and we would love it if you took our hands and come with us." He said getting up and reaching his hand out again.

   I looked at it and began to reach for it. I almost touched his finger tips when a sword came down and cut the leader's hand off at the wrist. He pulled away and yelped in pain. "Try again and you will loose you head." Wann said standing in front of me. "Wann, come on. She was fair game." he said tearing up. Wann smiled. "She's fair game if I wasn't near her to do that to your hand. Now go away Andrew before I cut your head off." The two other boys helped Andrew up and they ran off.

   Wann let go of the sword and it disapeared then he turned to me and reached his hand out. "I was hopping I could tell you myself later on but I guess you had to talk to strangers." he said his voice  sounding angry. I shrugged and ignored his hand. "I think you killed someone." I said feeling like I was in a dream. "No, his hand will grow back. Are you OK? Did he touch you?" 

"No. Is that what you ment by you being my Watcher?"

"Yes, now we need to leave. If they know you're here then the others do too." Wann said pulling me along as he ran to his car. I let him drag me along waiting to wake up in the grass with my hair wet from the due. He threw me into the car and forced the seatbealt on me. "Where are we going?" I asked rubbing my eyes. Wann started the car and started to drive towards the highway. "I don't know yet but we are getting out of Dallas." He said not talking directly to me. I turned to the window still not accepting that this was not a dream. When seeing the blur of the passing seanery, I got dizzy closed my eyes and fell asleep. 
   When I woke up it was dark enough outside that I couldn't see anything past my hand. I noticed that there was still in Wann's car and now under a starry sky. I turned on the overhead lights and looked around for Wann. We were parked on the side of the highway and I could see a blur of headlights pass by every once in a while. Wann was no where in site and I opened my door to see if I could find some sort of civilization. I walked into the cool breeze and felt the sting on my uncovered skin. By the wind and blank landscape I could tell that we were farther in the south of Texas.

   I heard something coming from the bushes and out of strange fear stayed in place and watched the bushes as the sound came closer. There was a growling in the bushes and still I did nothing but stare, the growling came closer and as the did rustling, and still I stayed still. I counted the seconds between the growls and the wind to see if I could tell what it was, a technice that my father had thaught me. I sensed the presence of an animal, but couldn't tell what it was. There was a pause before the next growl and then Wann came out draging a deer carcaus behind him.


Mohawk742   Mohawk742 wrote
on 1/16/2012 10:19:26 PM
Thought that since you read and commented on mine, I'd read and comment on yours. I'm glad your nephew liked mine. It was meant for kids to like. Story's pretty good, got a nice hook and and it's not badly organized. But you DO need an editor. It's not just your spelling and grammar, it's the wordflow in some places. When I have to re-read a sentence to get sense out of it, I need a better sentence. Helpful suggestions (I hope)... First, that first chapter goes WAY too far into the story. You have the beginnings of three chapters in there, with not nearly enough story in each of those three chapters. Second, you need to give that girl a life, a place, a melieu. Tell me what she sees, what she did her first few days in Dallas, what kind of trees she saw that were different from home. How about the trip to Dallas? Had she ever been able to see a true horizon before? Has she ever seen cactus or mesquite? What did her mother say when they first walked into their new digs? You said you like Stephen King. Think about how much you know about the towns and the people in his stories.

Short Story
writing LBlack406
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Rating: 7.0/10