We are all law-abiding citizens. State laws - and especially those that concern our health - we execute zealously, carefully. Well, and because the laws we have now are fascist in nature - it’s not our fault, but that of the rulers. And why have they created such laws, we still wonder? Did they truly want a nationwide, meaningful and merciless riot? Did they not believe in our Slavic powers, replacing us with overseas migrants, putting muzzles on our faces like on their obedient slaves, and trying to send us to plague camps?

Yet it was lazy for us to fight for the future and our lives at first, comrades. Our life under the leadership of the false-ours thieves wasn’t comfy, that’s true, but we have already managed to get used to it in our way. Already we started to forget about the feats of the courage of our civil ancestors, hung the yoke of credit around our necks, and plunged headlong into the pool of reckless consumerism, having even frightened for a short duration capitalist devils, who were dwelling there, with our speed of drowning.

Since then, we have lived like this, poor or bad, gurgled in these pools, being put on our knees by the traitors-in-power, listening on TV to their speeches about our indescribable rising. It was a pleasure to listen to the lies that were given out for the truth! Our consciousness was amused by the feeling of national greatness, unprecedented growth, a cosmic take-off, a long-awaited breakthrough! But for sure we scraped the bottom of the pool for a long time and tried to dig it even deeper. And we flopped in it for so long that a new generation of our children managed to grow up in the pool, having taken its dirt in their souls. But a breakthrough, decisive for our fate, happened completely all of a sudden.

And so foreign medics came and sailed to us in their dressing gowns with a sign of the bloody cross on them at the loud call of our authorities. Help us out, they said, our Western friends-enemies, our dear contagious W.H.O., for our Slavic people are sick and ill, still suffering from the cosmic ooze, which we have poured through their veins shortly before the call. And soon those non-Christians arrived in white robes and with eyes as black as the night, and so they began walking around the streets of our cities so pompous, as if this land was already conquered by them, and was not ours, Slavic, with the blood of ancestors who fought with the fascists, stained and watered. Or maybe they weren’t even doctors at all, but enemy soldiers and murderers, dressed up in white robes and called to our Russia by traitors-Koschei? Of that, we don’t know and are even a little bit afraid to think about. Because what if it’s them, foreigners, that have developed this poisonous liquid in their laboratories?

And so, we were starving, friends-enemies, by the time of the arrival of those Varangians, white as a funeral shroud, and so we looked at the rulers of our thoughts and purses with no joy in our eyes. These authorities were maddened, having become incredibly violent, and by that time many of us have been marked with that deplorable digital black stigma already. We, asymptomatically contagious, could not leave our homes without the need which they have approved, or buy products in stores, or speak freely our opinion about them on the Internet in every possible way and pour out the heartache in the terrible comments, and calm down on that. And so that pain and bitterness, unshed, bubbled in our hearts, begging to be unleashed even more than before.

Therefore, when these non-Christians came to our motherland in their false-white clothes, so we came out of our homes to greet them. We had no faith in their kind and selfless intentions, and we didn’t believe in their proclaimed ability to heal us. And so we stood up in a righteous fury from the sofas with our backs and spines spread out, took axes and cudgels in our weary arms, and went to drive those treacherous scoundrels for what the world is worth because there was almost no worth for a human life left in the world!

And so we drove such an abomination far, far away. We drove them through the cities and villages, straight to Moscow and the red Kremlin, until they were all there along with our rulers. And so we almost set out to storm the Kremlin, yet one natural and unexpected event suddenly happened. The earth trembled on the Kremlin Square, and all of a sudden, a thousand-laid tile started shaking. And then the mighty wind came down without a single warning, howling, and the battlements from the walls of the Kremlin were torn apart by the wind, having fallen. And for a few painful minutes, everything was shaking around, spinning and howling, and once the storm came to an end, whoa, a part of the Kremlin collapsed into a huge hole!

Wow, and that turned out to be a huge hellhole - we have never seen such a thing. A breakthrough as it is, the most natural and righteous! And a fierce multitude of our rulers disappeared into that breakthrough, and their overseas henchmen ran away and scattered. And the wind stopped howling and crying, and the thunderclouds dispersed, and the red sun peeked out from behind those clouds and as if smiled at us all at that moment. And so we threw away our codes and fascist certificates, and left poisonous syringes in destroyed hospitals, and smiled in response to the sun. And we started to feel better, and joy descended into our souls once again, and soon enough we all began to build a decent working life and a state of justice.

Just look, what long-awaited breakthroughs happen on our Slavic land, friends-enemies! And if someone comes to us with a sword, a syringe, or his darkest code, he will rest forever in the Russian land by the will of heaven and by the force of nature! And you, who have read this - be healthy, non-QR’e, brave and truthful - and maybe then it will all come true!


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Short Story
writing prokhor_ozornin
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