Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the place.
A jolly old man moved with great haste.
Everything was right and prim and proper,
As he played with a coin of copper.
The children were nestled all snug in their room,
Far from their minds were visions of doom.
Wife in her nightie, I in my pants,
As the jolly fellow downstairs began to dance.
Then out on the lawn thee arose such a clatter,
I looked outside, for the man was on a latter.
Away from the window I flew in a flash,
hid all the jewelery and most of the cash.
The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow,
made the bitter cold shine in the 10 below.
Out of the corner of my eye what should appear?
But a miniature cop car and a fat man drunk on beer.
The man looked tiny, lively, and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
Faster, and faster he ran as he came,
How he joked, and shouted, and called them a-many name.
"Now Dasher! Now Dancer! Now Prancer and Vixen!
Oh Comet and Cupid, Donner and Blitzen!
I bet ye can't can't catch me as I bolt over this wall!
Now dash away, dash away, dash away all."
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
He meant an obstacle and fell from his high.
So up and up he rose again and flew.
With toys in toot, and alcohol too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof,
the dancing, the prancing of the crazy old goof.
As I pondered how this came to be,
Down the chimney St Nicholas said with a "wee."
He was dressed all in red, from his head to his foot.
And he concerned little that he was covered in soot.
A bunch of toys he had in a sack,
twas slung over his shoulder and onto his back.
His eyes how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!
His cheeks were red his nose a cherry!
The smell of liquor came from his month,
He must have been taking drinks on his way south.
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
he stumbled and staggered and almost knocked over a wreath,
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
They shook when he laughed , as he ate a bowl full of jelly!
He was chubby and plump, a jolly old fellow
He laughed when he saw, I looked rather mellow.
A glitter in his eye a knot in his back
as he through down the toys in his sack.
He spoke nonsense and went straight to work,
Oh, he peed on the tree, my he is such a jerk!
Then he stuck a finger up his nose,
and giving a twist, up the chimney he rose.
He stumbled to his sleigh, and gave a whistle.
And up looked the cops as he through thistle,
But I heard him exclaim as the took him away.
"Merry Christmas to all, I'll post bail by break of day!"