SHATTERED AND TORN
          There was a distance between her and her soul.                                                                                                             Her heart was so dark,almost like coal.
          Never shedding a tear or ever experiencing her own fears,                                                                                             so alone however she still remained here.                                                                                                                    There was the inner child reaching out but never getting nowhere                                                                                   always so afraid and alone knowing nobody cared.               
           Her days were always so dark never bright from the sun.                                                                                                   So many tears shed from the pain, never to be undone.                                                                                                 Nothing to block the rain or no shelter from the bad storms.                                                                                               Now living in a life that has been shattered and torn.                                                                                                 Deep down inside of that shattered and torn life,                                                                                                              she could feel the jagged edge from a fiercely sharp knife.                                                                                            Vowing to never let anyone destroy her in the end,                                                                                                          She gave herself to god for she knew he was her friend.                                   

Comments:
 
WAN   WAN wrote
on 6/27/2009 6:44:20 PM
This is very beautiful unicorn:) Wow! I was astonished by that! Great JOB! I like the ending of this write. I can relate with it. She became such a strong lady never ever letting anybody hurt her anymore when she matured (this line i love the most):)

StarPoet   StarPoet wrote
on 6/27/2009 12:49:41 AM
The dark emotion here you expressed is great. I could feel her pain as I read. And the form of the poem was indeed different. I only have one small ides for change to this: The line with the "jagged edge" maybe change "from" to "of ". It seems to me that maybe "of" would work better there. What do you think? (Still, very good poem).

unicorn2008
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Hello, i have missed being on for a while due to a sickness in the family and im back now. Hope you can all enjoy my writing.
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Rating: 7.5/10

Synopsis
I am really not sure where this one came from.It took me a whole 5 minutes to write it. It just kind of came into my head and so I wrote it. I hope you all like it and that you will please feel free to let me know what you think.
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